August 1st, 2026 - Finally called my long-time bestie who lives in Texas. She's well, which made me happy. She moved 6 years ago, but everytime we talk it's like we still ride the bus together. Also I got to see my past/future roomie this week. We caught up and planned apartment stuff. We have an airfryer AND an insta pot AND we can both cook, so we're about to be eating well. The volunteer group I'm in needed help with food prep, so I signed up to go. The address was this literal mansion that sometime hosts shows. It's just rented by a bunch of college grad dudes, which is crazy to me. There's chandaliers everywhere. But it was just me, one of the house owners (very nice guy) and my moms coworker. I didn't relize he was in this group until a couple weeks ago, but he's very cool. He also used to do college radio, also loves Twins Peaks, and also knows the X-ray Spexs. Like we're kinda kindred spirits. I was gonna go to a show afterward, but the 3 of us took too long food-prepping cause we were discussing Twin Peaks. I didn't even care tho I love having fun times with strangers.
July 31st, 2026 - Finally called my long-time bestie who lives in Texas. She's well, which made me happy. She moved 6 years ago, but everytime we talk it's like we still ride the bus together. Also I got to see my past/future roomie this week. We caught up and planned apartment stuff. We have an airfryer AND an insta pot AND we can both cook, so we're about to be eating well. The volunteer group I'm in needed help with food prep, so I signed up to go. The address was this literal mansion that sometime hosts shows. It's just rented by a bunch of college grad dudes, which is crazy to me. There's chandaliers everywhere. But it was just me, one of the house owners (very nice guy) and my moms coworker. I didn't relize he was in this group until a couple weeks ago, but he's very cool. He also used to do college radio, also loves Twins Peaks, and also knows the X-ray Spexs. Like we're kinda kindred spirits. I was gonna go to a show afterward, but the 3 of us took too long food-prepping cause we were discussing Twin Peaks. I didn't even care tho I love having fun times with strangers.
July 24th, 2026 - Bestie is heading to an anime convention soon, and I'm her cosplay photographer. I loveee using her old digital camera and she loves having pics so we both win. We started at an asian restaurant. This character loves meat I've been told, so we got a grill your own steak thing. It was basically slices of beef with a hot rock and rice. We both tried grilling with it, I felt like a father. We did pics like a Mr. Beast thumbnail, pics of her cooking, and basically everything else. The restaurant's lighting made them all come our heavenly. A little kid came to gawk at us for a bit too. Not in a rude way, in a seeing colored hair for the first time. Afterward we went to Petco. The outfit was very orange/tropical, so I thought it'd look good with goldfish. And I was right these turned out sooo cute. Someone had left a step-ladder by the glowfish section (fate) so she posed with that, by the birdcages, and by the tragic betas. Then the camera died so parties over. I wish I could've seen us from 3rd person. Neon anime girl + girl in all black scrubs (I'd just gotten off work).
July 23rd, 2026 - Happy B-day to my mommm. Sorry everyone else but she's the best at it. TBH I was frustrated today cause I felt I was doing everything while my dad did the bare minimum and made shit harder. My younger brother IDC cause he's a busy busy guy, but my dad has no excuse. Like he bought a balloon arch for me to make that involved blowing up 100+ balloons. I made the dessert, I decorated the house. All he did was buy this ugly AI poster about stuff that happened the year Mom was born. Come on man. My mom ended up having a good day which is what matters tho. After work I helped my brother prepare food, we took a break to gossip in his room for a bit, and then we opened presents. My mom likes cute stuff, so I'd got her a stuffed walrus heating pad thing. She really liked it and said it's sweet face would remind her of me :) After we went on a picnic. Our food was good and the weather lovely. I'd made a lemon pie Mom specifically requested, and everyone loved it. Having ppl like your cooking is such a good feeling. Afterwards we walked around the park awhile.
July 20th, 2026 - Finally got to call a dear friend. She moved and hosted a "female chud meetup" in her new city to make friends and it worked, so basicallys she's well. We played her fav game on Roblox which is a politician roleplay game. We had voice chat on, which I'd never realized how to do, and people were getting so into it lol. Anyways I also went to a city council meeting with my friends to protest the Flock cameras stalking us. We made good progress with the council, and it was really inspiring to see the public comment. So many people made heartfelt speeches, and one older women even sang. You could tell everyone really cared about our community. I also did food prep for my volunteer group and passed out the breakfast we'd made again. One of the unhoused guy's remembered me :D Me and the other volunteers had a townie gossip sesh as well. Afterward we went and handed out resource cards in a neighborhood to warn them about some bullshit our cops are doing. It was so hot and the air quality was ass, but afterward I got pancakes with my mom and brother (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑)
July 12th, 2026 - This was one of my CNA weekends, and I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of it. Everything was smooth and lovely. Most eventful thing that happened was the cafeteria guy told me I looked like a Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter... I couldn't even be mad cause he was lowkey right. Once I got off my shift, me and mom went to a walking trail and got ice cream. We saw lots of mushrooms and a fox. It was a good day until my dad started getting pissy. I usually only write about good stuff cause I'll organically remember the bad, but omg my dad's so evil. He's cruel to my brother/mom, and he's only nice to me cause I try to appease him and keep the calm. He's also literally starving himself to death and when anyone brings it up he yells at us. I'm not exagerrating either. Within 3 years he went from perfectly healthy to being unable to walk 10+ minutes and acting like he's got demetia all cause the man will not EAT!!! If he wants to ruin his own life whatever, but my brother and mom are so sweet and don't deserve this. At least I get to be gone for college sometimes.
July 5th, 2026 - The LGBT center had/my friend invited me a gay potluck, so I made homemade biscuits, but actually the hosts had just bought pizza and no one brought anything else. Come on gay people. It's okay tho, everyone liked my biscuits. Me and my friend had fun, especially cause we got free clothes. The center was cleaning out their closest so we raided the discard. We tried to get some of the dresses, but both of our ribcages/boobs didn't make it (ㅠ﹏ㅠ). It was so dire we were fighting zippers in a public restroom for 30 minutes. Anyways, we still got good stuff. The next day I met my old work bestie at Chili's. She told the waiter she was on a blind date lol. I'd never been to Chili's, it was fine. I got all the new old workplace drama. We worked at a Red Lobster, so it's heinous. Our old boss was a therapist who lost his license for sleeping with a patient. Nothing crazy was happening tho, except for a waitress having a baby ♡ We somehow ran into her old friend, so we sat at his table. He was nice, they talked about how their university is very much bankrupt.
July 5th, 2026 - My genius bro got into this fancy camp thing at a big city college, so mom and I tagged along for drop off. First we went to an art musuem nearby. My favs were the religious pieces. Lots of Madonnas and Buddhas and Guan Yin's. We saw some old Central Asian kitchenware with inlaid mother-of-pearl that I loved. Think how beautiful all the stuff must've been when what people saw was more mundane? Like no TV/internet/books to look at nice things on. It's already so pretty, I can't imagine. Anyways, we got hungry and messed up some amazing Central Asian food. I got Shakshouka for the first time. Life changed. We all split the syrupiest baklava too. After we headed to the college campus. I tried to explore the grounds, but it was so hot I was dizzy. Once we said bye, mom and I went to the trendy part of town. Like the thrift shop and record store part. It was really cute, but again just too hot to function. Also I might be too weak for cities cause why was everything $18?? On the ride home I had to explain what a twink was lol.
July 4th, 2026 - First day in a month I haven't been working or going on a trip. I joined this mutual aid/free breakfast program I learned about from a show, but this was the first time I could actually participate. I got to this guys apartment way to early, but the volunteers where nice to chat with. We were all locals, so we shared highschool gossip to share. Once we were all ready we headed out to a bus station to hand out our stuff for anyone who needed it. We brought breakfast, hygiene, and hydration supplies. Everyone was super nice. One of the unhoused guys started trying to teach me french lol. I left early cause we had enough volunteers, and one of the ladies needed a ride to a shop near my house. I dropped her off, then went home and drew for hours. I've been keeping up with drawing/my other hobbies, but it was sooo relaxing to be able to just immerse myself. I helped my dad cook these really good chicken wings, and then it rained so hard our power went out lol. We just started watching old videos of me and my bro and crying laughing, so it wasn't bad.
July 3rd, 2026 - Me and my mom drove two hours away on a pilgrimage to IKEA. My family went to Sweden a couple years ago for my dads job, and my mom really wanted to go to IKEA there. Apparently there was a special IKEA bus that would take you? IDK, she was enamored. But we never got to go. 3 years later we made it lol. I'd never been to an IKEA, it was quiet zen. I liked the little scenes and how they played calm music. My town really is small, which I felt more than usual on this trip, so a big furniture store is novel for me. After IKEA we walked in 100 degrees to the mall. We literally wandered the mall for 4 hours. It had a massive playground AND an arcade in this place. We bought nothing lol. My friend who lives around here met up with us once she got off work. She bought us two little build-a-bears (where she works) and we continued to wander. It was so good to see her and talk and drink boba. I love my friends so so much. We finally got dinner and then had to part ways :( On the drive home I showed mom a Machine Girl song and she got scared. My throat hurt from talking so much.
June 21st, 2026 - Beach trip 2. Our last day me and my brother went out early to swim again. The tide was low enough that we could go out far and still touch the bottom. We brought a boogie-board and had limited success. Again, I love the feel of waves and the rocking of the ocean. We had to go inside to pack up our stuff tho. We got one more beach walk in, and I found a basically perfect nautilus shell :) Lunch was had, then said goodbye. My aunt and uncle said we should do a beach trip every year. We stopped at this fucked up Wendys for dinner. A guy in front of us got a melted frosty, told the cashier "this is fucking milk" then stormed out lol. Nothing could upset me tho. I was so in awe of everthing this weekend. I just kept thinking everything was beautiful. Like the sun on the waves and the dated beach house decor and everything. I haven't been to a beach in years, and also my new anti-depressants have made me actually enjoy things for the first time in like 10 years. Vacations being enjoyable is a new concept for me, and it's very exciting.
June 20th, 2026 - Beach trip!!! My dear mom planned this weekend trip with my aunt and uncle. She almost didn't go cause she got stuck in an Oklahoma airport for over 24 hours from a work thing. She survived though she's a warrior. We got there late friday night, and me and my brother took a night walk on the beach. We looked for shells by phone light and chatted. He's always great to talk to. The next day we did all the beach things. I got pummeled by waves, buried my brother in sand, and went on many looking-for-shell walks. Beaches are sensory heaven. I love the feel of water under my hands and walking in sand and the crazy heat. There was a pool at the place we were staying too, so we tried that out. It was fine but like there's a whole beach. Also I got chased by a giant swimming cockroach thing :( We took a break around lunch and ate sandwiches on the deck. I'd been dreaming of eating a fat sandwich after swimming all winter. In the afternoon we walked around town and got dinner. TBH I love tacky beach shops. I was so stupidly happy this entire day.
June 14th, 2026 - Been working all the time. It's fun, and I'd be complaining of boredom otherwise, but I feel very go go go. Though I've remained able to socialize and do my hobbies still, which was my main worry with working 2 jobs. This week I went to an onboarding meeting for a mutual-aid/free breakfast program I'm trying to volunteer with. Saturday I got coffee with my friend who's lifeguarding rn. She says there's a family with an 8 year old who steals peoples vapes and beat up a toddler, and a 3 year old who loves pretending to drown. Praying for her lol. I also went to another friends house to watch scary movies and then we ended up analyzing LMFAO lyrics. The jobs themself have been good too. I feel like I'm really getting to know the residents at the long-term care place. One resident was telling me about how her mother used to sew her outfits and how much she loved her. Then she showed me their family photos. I was really touched by this. Like this mother is long long gone, and her daughter is in her 90s with dementia, but her love lives on still.
June 4th, 2026 - At the library today for my whole shift this teen was holding paper to the computer screen and tracing busty anime women. Like for 4 hours right next to the kids section. The only time he changed muses was when he looked up "evil sonic". After work I loitered for hours cause I had a book club meeting nearby and didn't want to waste gas. I got bored and started talking to this religious freak who's always accosting people on the street. He talked to me for thirty minutes with a whole binder of bible verses I had to read out loud. Then I had to kneel on the concrete and like say I submit my life to god to get to heaven. This was all interesting to me (can you tell my special interest is religions), it just went on for awhile. In the end he gave me all his propoganda pamplets. I collect those weird chick tracts and guilt inducing religious papers so it was worth it. I always get into these situations. At college the World Mission Society Church of God (Korean Jesus cult) knows me by name cause I always humor them. I don't want to be rude and I can't help it. Anyways bookclub was fun.
May 31st, 2026 - Just finished my first week of my two jobs. I'm a library assistant and a CNA. I really like both jobs, they're just very physical. For the library I shelve in the kids section, so I have to squat to put any books away. The job is mainly running around with stacks of books and squatting. It's honestly quit zen, and it's sweet to see kids come in so excited about reading. My CNA job is great too. I really like all the residents and the facility is nice. One lady keeps telling me I'm super cute which is sweet. We had free time to go sit on the porch and she told me she used to do that with her dad. The bad part is I have to wake up at 5 am to get there. After my first day my mom wanted to go on a walk, so I was hiking up this hill (in scrubs) to a beautiful view while exhausted. It sucked but kinda enhanced the experience. One day I woke up at 3 am and couldn't go back to sleep so I just went and worked my 8 hours, then went to bed at 8:30 lol. Lifting to transfer the residents is also a big part of the job, so my back hurts. I CAN lift them tho, which I was worried about. Guess the gym is working.
May 21th, 2026 - Random day. I finished this fanfic I've been writing basically 3 chapter a year of for my 10 devoted readers. I'm honestly relieved it's over. I wasn't invested in the source anymore but people kept leaving nice comments so I had an obligation. Then I tried to go to the gym but got so lost trying to find the parking lot I literally drove around for 45 minutes then had to call my friend for help. I was more mad than I've felt in forever lol. Gas is like 5 dollars rn I cannot be wasting it. My workout was good tho, and then there was bookclub. My friend was there, along with the nonbinary monk I talked about in an earlier entry. They were so well dressed too omg. I need to be them. BTW I've been back to their zendo twice. Still great!!! But anyways I sat by my friend and my monk friend and we chatted about all sorts of books and TV shows. They had actually all read the Murderbot Diaries series I'm so deep in right now. It was so nice to talk to people who also knew what I was on about. The cafe the meeting was at closed so we had to leave, but I felt we could've kept going for awhile.
May 20th, 2026 - Me and my best friend both had free time this week, so we've been loitering to the max. We went to the gym, tried ejote, tried birria tacos, tried to eat at a food court but found nothing, played video games in a cafe, played ddr on a broken machine, wandered around a library, rated the food in the supermarket, got caught in the rain outside a food truck, watched music videos in our cars, talked about strange teens on tiktok, and ect. Life is so beautiful with friends cause all our boring activities are fun. Specifically today we played Fear and Hunger Termina in a cafe. We ran into a mutual friend of hers, and a girl I hadn't seen since highschool. She seemed sad :( But we had fun. I am so bad at videogames I couldn't even play Mario Odessey, so I basically commented on my friend playthrough. We died so much. She has come in Daan cosplay though, so we took a bunch of pictures arounf town of her pretending to smoke and looking sad. The best pics we took were by an ominous puddle, the catholic church, and the vape shop.
May 11th, 2026 - I've known there's a Buddist center in my town for awhile, but I've never had a chance to go. It's only open for 2 hours twice a week. When I got there 3 other ppl were inside. I was def the youngest there by 30 years. They introduced me to the monk in charge. I actually already knew them from the gay bookclub I'm lowkey in. Didn't know they where a monk, kinda obsessed. Wish I was a old nonbinary monk with a weirdly large zendo. The building was really big, but mostly storage. The monk took me to the back to talk to me about how to sit cause I said I might need instructions. They had a calm and kind presence. I went to meditate with the others, though I'm not good yet. Afterward a guy made tea and I got to talk to the other members. All very kind! And I got to talk about religion which is my fav topic ever. I asked them what they all did, and one of them just said "follow the pleasure principal". She also invited me to a "Mennonite shindig" and gave me life advice about not trying to be liked by people I don't even like. It was a great. I'll try to be back :)
May 8th, 2026 - My dear friend is moving to Richmond for college, so she was having a sort of movie/pool party to say bye. I got to her house and we just chatted for hours before everyone else came. We went to high school together so we talked about old drama lol. I'm trying out Prozac rn and my stomach was fucked, but being with friends helped. Everyone finally came and we went to the store to get snacks. I met a new girl who does my friends nails. She's really talented and had given herself these beautiful acrylics with bunny charms. We tried to swim in the apartments pool, and we kinda did, it was just frigid. We gave up, then went to abuse the free coffee in the pool house. We also somehow got free shirts from the apartment recetionist which I needed cause I'd forgotten a change of clothes and a towel. We went back to the apartment, which I'd never seen. I got to meet the cats and the life-size Homer cut out. We all watched Dracula Flow (Plz look this up on Youtube) which brought me to tears, and then Hotel Transylvania 2. I'll miss my friend a lot.
May 6th, 2026 - One week into summer vacation and I'm bored. I got two jobs, but they start later. In the meantime I've been doing nursing school prep (drug tests), going on random dates, and doing errands with my mom. Anyways, my dear bestie texted the GC asking if anyone wore size 7-8 shoes. I said I did, and she told me her friend needed a model for his final project, which was shoes. He's an industrial design guy. I said yes cause it sounded intestering, and it def was. I showed up to the building this guy told me to go to. I found him cause he had a button-up covered w/ eyeballs. He gave me a whole goth-ish outfit to wear and then strapped me into the shoes w/ tape and elastic. The shoes were super cool, they had fake spines as the heel. They were just agonizing to wear. I thought we'd just be taking pictures or something but I actually had to walk in a student fashion show. We had to pose and everything (╥﹏╥) Everyone had nice pieces though. There were guys in like polluted ocean themed drag? Idk it was a fun way to spend an evening and I was glad I could help a nice stranger guy.
April 27th, 2026 -Today was the final day for College Mentors for Kids. Basically we had our end of year party. Last year's theme was "rave" (We called it neon party to the kids lol) cause we could only afford glow sticks and free Just-Dance videos on youtube. This years theme was under the sea and it was way better. All the kids got sand buckets they got to fill up with snacks and maracas. All the kids tried to start a "band" with the maracas. My kid was being really silly ♡. She "stole" my glasses and kept saying she was a mini me. She also drew on my arm to give me a tattoo that was just her name. Right now she's obsessed with MHA, and she likes to change my phone background for fun, so she changed it to some chibi wallpaper of all those characters. She kept just staring at the wallpaper like it was a TV show. It was so funny. She kept lingering around once her parents came to pick her up and we had to say goodbye. She said she'd miss me over the summer, and I'll def miss her too. She told me to write her and send her cookies.
April 17th, 2026 - Day of one million events. I woke up, did laundry, went to breakfast, went to an anti-suicide walk with my friends, got lunch and then immediately went to set up the radio's booth for the music festival. Our boss had left us with nothing so we were treking all over campus and stealing chairs and tables for our booth. We had coloring sheets as our main activity, but my boss had lost the crayons, so I had to borrow from the library... On a positive note our booth was next to a bunch of my friends. We basically all talked for 3 hours while baking in the sun. Very little actual work was done ♡ We packed up after awhile and got to enjoy the festival too. We all rode the mechanical bull very poorly and checked out the vendors. The band that was playing (I think they were just students) were doing covers of 80's songs with country vocal and 100% more synth. Actually really amazing TBH. My coworkers and I got distracted hauling our stuff back to the station and talked standing up in circle for nearly 2 hours lol.
April 16th, 2026 - Day was kinda harrowing. My therapist made me have an emergency doctor meeting cause she thought I was gonna die :/ I'm chill tho and I have a follow up with a psychiatrist that'll hopefully help. April is always an evil month :( But I tried to do fun stuff to take my mind off everything. I went to the gym which I love. Makes me feel buff. We have a music festival on campus Saturday and the radio is giving out buttons/face painting. No one at the radio can really paint faces so IDK what the plan is lol, but I made us more buttons. I ran into my bestie in the dining hall and she was sad cause of school, so we were miserable together. It kinda helped, I hope it helped her. After classes I went to my friends apartment. We all made bead bracelets with this glue that kept burning our skin. One guy claimed he'd huffed that type of glue before... Old-school Scooby Doo was on the whole time for some reason. I was cocomeloning out to it. We got taco bell afterwards, which is always more fun at night. My drunk friend blew bubbles in the car ride home.
April 14th, 2026 - Since it's the end of the semester I've been in event world. I went to an event for juniors with 1920's themed fire dancing ladies (?) with my friends, and a school concert. The lead was Rob-49, but his opening act just went and then he didn't come out for 30 minutes so I left lol. We weren't allowed to dance in the aisles so ppl were trying to twerk in theatre seats. I respect the attempt tbh. But that all was last week. Today I went to the last FRN meeting. The president is my friend and she's graduating :( But we did elect new board ppl, and then we played are you smarter than a fifth grader. The top prize was 10$ which made ppl lose it. One girl got distracted halfway through and started assigning everyone MLP characters. I got 3rd place cause I didn't know elephants are the only animal with 4 knees, but I won a perfect gift for my other club College Mentors for Kids. It's basically Big Brothers Big Sisters, and I needed an end-of-year gift for my kid. The meeting was great though. I love everyone in the club ♡ I hope I'll have time for it next year (╥﹏╥)
April 7th, 2026 - Today was boring, but the afternoon made up for it. I went to this "Half-Way There" event for Sophmores. I only went cause I wanted a free T-shirt, but I ended up seeing people I knew, which was nice. Knowing tons of people on campus feels like I living in a little city full of friends. I tie-died my shirt, hung out with my friends, and listened to this awful DJ (who said his playlist was AI??) until it was time for me to go dinner. This club I'm in was having an end-of-year party with Pho. The club is for collecting food to donate to charity, so we got to end with food for us :) The drive was so fun cause everyone was singing. We had to wait awhile to get into the restaurant, but we were having so much fun talking to each other no one cared. The Pho was delicious!!! And I learned more about some of my club friends. One of them is roommates with this evil person I knew first year and also hates them, and I agreed to go party with like 3 other people too. It was a great night. We ran back to our cars for some reason. I guess excess energy. We kept singning on the drive home, very poorly.
April 6th, 2026 - I made this page! My boss has a band with his dad that happened to be playing in the school library, so I skipped class to see them. It was cute to see these two old hippie guys singing. Nothing else happened till I went to a club meeting. I got to see 2 of my friends. We don't see each other often but when we do we can't stop laughing. Once I got back to my dorm, I kinda felt like shit. I've just been having a hard time mentally, so I called my mom and was talking to her. I was in my dorms lounge and was crying pretty hard. All this is just context, cause afterward the strangest thing happened. This guy came into the lounge to do his dishes, and once I was done calling, asked me if everything was okay? I told him kinda what was going on, and he told me some stuff he was going through. He asked if I wanted to come park his car/walk around in the dark/talk with him. I said yeah, and it was a very calming experience. I don't know how to describe it. Something was very surreal. But when I finally got back to my room I felt drapped in calm, like everything would be okay.
April 2nd, 2026 - For context, I work for my school's public radio. In name it's a work-study position, but in practice we don't have time for the study part. I love my job though. Infinite sidequest generator. Today we put on a concert for jazz pianist Judy Carmichael.She's the sweetest ever over email. She even sent me a pic of her cat. I was happy to see IRL she's just as nice. We made a promotional video of her teaching our school's mascot to play piano lol. My Capcut masterpiece. Later me and my friend went and got roses for her. She was showing everyone the video and we all took a picture. The concert was great too. I got my non-radio friends to come. They all got a crush on the saxophonist? Judy sang a song about wanting to rent people's husbands and told a "Sexy TSA Story" about an agent thinking her underwire bra was handcuffs. Of course she also played very good jazz. Afterward there was a reception with actually yum school catering. Judy signed a copy of her book for me. I'd made pins for the concert (somehow part of my radio job) and she loved them too. Nice Nice night.
