Summary:
In 2019, humanity finally finds proof of extraterrestrial life when a listening post in Puerto Rico picks up exquisite singing from a planet that will come to be known as Rakhat. While United Nations diplomats endlessly debate a possible first contact mission, the Society of Jesus quietly organizes an eight-person scientific expedition of its own. What the Jesuits find is a world so beyond comprehension that it will lead them to question what it means to be "human".

Thoughts:
No book has ever been more up my alley than this one. Priest main character, sci-fi, amazing cast of characters that are all domestic and lovely, loss of faith, insane ass side plots, debating the problem of evil, it has everything. I love Emilio like he's a real guy and I've never seen feeling abandoned by god shown so well. It's like when you grow up in religion, and remember how it felt to believe, and how bad that hurts when you can't sustain faith any longer.

Only complaint is I read this cause I saw someone say it was an uplifting story, which I don't know about all that. The start tricks you with the lovely friendships and relationships and domestic bliss. Truly some of the best frienships I've ever read. But then you get flashbanged. No spoilers but if you have issues with sexual violence DO NOT read this book. Lord.

But just amazing book and there's a sequel I'm so hyped.

Summary:
I'm still trying to make the dream possible: still might finish my cleaning project, still might sign up for that yoga class, still might, still might. I step into the shower and almost faint, an image of taking the day by the throat and bashing its head against the wall floating in my mind.

Thirty-year-old Millie just can't pull it together. Misanthropic and morose, she spends her days killing time at a thankless temp job until she can return home to her empty apartment, where she oscillates wildly between self-recrimination and mild delusion, fixating on all the little ways she might change her life. Then she watches TV until she drops off to sleep, and the cycle begins again.

When the possibility of a full-time job offer arises, it seems to bring the better life she's envisioning - one that involves nicer clothes, fresh produce, maybe even financial independence - within reach. But with it also comes the paralyzing realization, lurking just beneath the surface, of just how hollow that vision has become.

Thoughts:
Reminded me of when I tried to watch The Office and I couldn't because it made me too sad that everyone hated each other. There is some comedy, but it has a sort of millenial vibe. Nothing wrong with that, just not for me. I liked when she said, “My pits are slick, and my face smells like a bagel.” And I liked when she went to visit her loving parents. Other than that I read this very quickly so I wouldn't need to be sad about office workers anymore.

Summary:
"1798, France. Nuns move along the dark corridors of a Versailles hospital where the young Sister Perpetué has been tasked with sitting with the patient who must always be watched. The man, gaunt, with his sallow skin and distended belly, is dying: they say he ate a golden fork, and that it’s killing him from the inside. But that’s not all—he is rumored to have done monstrous things in his attempts to sate an insatiable appetite… an appetite they say tortures him still.

Born in an impoverished village to a widowed young mother, Tarare was once overflowing with quiet affection: for the Baby Jesus and the many Saints, for his mother, for the plants and little creatures in the woods and fields around their house. He spends his days alone, observing the delicate charms of the countryside. But his world is not a gentle one—and soon, life as he knew it is violently upended. Tarare is pitched down a chaotic path through revolutionary France, left to the mercy of strangers, and increasingly, bottomlessly, ravenous."

Thoughts:
Going through a weird 17th century french guy phase reading this right after Perfume. This book is kinda Tumblr, which I say with love. Something about the writing style and the general historical changes. It's basically, "What if Tarare was a traumatized bisexual guy." And I ate it up. They even made him less deformed than historical accounts lol. Kinda confused why it starts with a framing device it abandons half-way through, but I'll forgive it.

Summary:
"In 1956, toward the end of Reverend John Ames's life, he begins a letter to his young son, an account of himself and his forebears. Ames is the son of an Iowan preacher and the grandson of a minister who, as a young man in Maine, saw a vision of Christ bound in chains and came west to Kansas to fight for abolition: He "preached men into the Civil War," then, at age fifty, became a chaplain in the Union Army, losing his right eye in battle.

Reverend Ames writes to his son about the tension between his father--an ardent pacifist--and his grandfather, whose pistol and bloody shirts, concealed in an army blanket, may be relics from the fight between the abolitionists and those settlers who wanted to vote Kansas into the union as a slave state. And he tells a story of the sacred bonds between fathers and sons, which are tested in his tender and strained relationship with his namesake, John Ames Boughton, his best friend's wayward son.

This is also the tale of another remarkable vision--not a corporeal vision of God but the vision of life as a wondrously strange creation. It tells how wisdom was forged in Ames's soul during his solitary life, and how history lives through generations, pervasively present even when betrayed and forgotten."

Thoughts:
Super calming book. Almost too calming cause I kept forgetting what I had read and having to re-read it. But it's a sweet book, more introspection than plot.

The grandpa's history as an aboltionist was the most interesting part to me. AND the story about the horse in the hole. That was so funny like what.

I wish it leaned more into the struggle of someone who wants to believe in god but can't. That's such a fascinating struggle but it was raised and not resolved. Maybe that's the point, not to resolve it, but I wish it was at least discussed more.

Summary:
"An acclaimed bestseller and international sensation, Patrick Suskind's classic novel provokes a terrifying examination of what happens when one man's indulgence in his greatest passion—his sense of smell—leads to murder.

In the slums of eighteenth-century France, the infant Jean-Baptiste Grenouille is born with one sublime gift—an absolute sense of smell. As a boy, he lives to decipher the odors of Paris, and apprentices himself to a prominent perfumer who teaches him the ancient art of mixing precious oils and herbs. But Grenouille's genius is such that he is not satisfied to stop there, and he becomes obsessed with capturing the smells of objects such as brass doorknobs and fresh-cut wood. Then one day he catches a hint of a scent that will drive him on an ever-more-terrifying quest to create the "ultimate perfume"—the scent of a beautiful young virgin. Told with dazzling narrative brilliance, Perfume is a hauntingly powerful tale of murder and sensual depravity."

Thoughts:
Silly little book. Felt like a fairytale. Lots of messed up stuff happens but it's told so fancifully I wasn't freaked out. So well written that even when the plot got kinda random I was still invested. I've never read a story where a charcters motivations are just, "He's evil" lol.

Summary:
"From the rubble-strewn streets of U.S.-occupied Baghdad, Hadi--a scavenger and an oddball fixture at a local café--collects human body parts and stitches them together to create a corpse. His goal, he claims, is for the government to recognize the parts as people and to give them proper burial. But when the corpse goes missing, a wave of eerie murders sweeps the city, and reports stream in of a horrendous-looking criminal who, though shot, cannot be killed.

Hadi soon realizes he's created a monster, one that needs human flesh to survive--first from the guilty, and then from anyone in its path. A prizewinning novel by "Baghdad's new literary star" (The New York Times), Frankenstein in Baghdad captures with white-knuckle horror and black humor the surreal reality of contemporary Iraq."

Thoughts:
You know the books going to be good when the first pages are a list of all the characters so you can keep track of them. There's so much happening in this book, but it works. TBH the characters aren't even that hard to keep track of. And all of them are lovely. Elishva and Hadi are my favs. They're two older people living in Baghdad and I want to read books just about them and their lives. Hadi felt very real, and I liked how he just wanted enough money to drink and have fun. Elishva I was really fond of, and was sad when the book moved away from her POV. I have a soft spot for eccentric religious characters lol.

My favorite thing is learning about the minutiae of a different time/place, which this book does great. I feel like I really got a glance into daily life in Baghdad. All the characters made the neighborhood feel alive. There's some great commentary about war and the cycle of violence that creates with the monster too. Also I liked the nods to the original Frankenstein, with the monster being a monologuing melodramatic dude, and the book starting as a story someone else is telling.

Summary:
"In 2024, with the world descending into madness and anarchy, one woman begins a fateful journey toward a better future.

Lauren Olamina and her family live in one of the only safe neighborhoods remaining on the outskirts of Los Angeles. Behind the walls of their defended enclave, Lauren’s father, a preacher, and a handful of other citizens try to salvage what remains of a culture that has been destroyed by drugs, disease, war, and chronic water shortages. While her father tries to lead people on the righteous path, Lauren struggles with hyperempathy, a condition that makes her extraordinarily sensitive to the pain of others.

When fire destroys their compound, Lauren’s family is killed and she is forced out into a world that is fraught with danger. With a handful of other refugees, Lauren must make her way north to safety, along the way conceiving a revolutionary idea that may mean salvation for all mankind."

Thoughts:
Good book, well written and everything, just didn't grip me. I think I'm still burnt out on dystopia from when I only read dystopia in middle school lol. I felt like the plot was kinda slow until the middle of the book, and even when the action began it was slightly repetitive for me. The characters are all nice, I like Zahara the best. I wish we could've gotten to know more about all the characters but for a large cast I think they were all fleshed out pretty well.

The world building is the best element for me. I was super into the dystopia and how it seemed quite possible. There's no major disaster, just growing issues overtime while everyone tries to act like everythings fine. Lauren's religion is also a great part of the book. It's a perspective on God I haven't ever seen before, and a good religious view for the apocolypse lol.

If you've read the book I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but a part that REALLY took me out of the book was Laurens romance. I won't spoil anything, but I think it really goes against some of the other themes of the novel. Other characters have backstories that show how relationships like that are predatory and traumatizing, but when Lauren does it everything okay? I don't get it :(

I'll probably eventually read the sequel just to know what happens and enter the world again, but I'll have to recover from all the dystopia stuff. If you like dystopia though this will be up your alley :)

Link: Here

Summary:
"A collection of suicide notes accompanied by a brief description of who the individual was, what their note meant, and the circumstances which led up to their suicide"

Thoughts:
Very depressing, as you would expect. I was curious about this topic after seeing Virginia Wolfe's famous suicide note. But the commentary on the notes and the categorization really makes the whole thing feel hacky. Like, the book begins by telling you this is pornographic and you're a pervert or voyeur for reading it. YOU WROTE THE BOOK. and I think the book would feel much less like voyeuristically enjoying someone elses suffering if the commentary didn't read like freakshow advertisements.

There is totally a respectful way to present something like this, they just didn't do it. The notes themselves were heartbreaking as you'd think. If you're interested in the topic of suicide notes and what people usually put in them/blame their suicide on, this is a decent compilation. Just ignore all the commentary.

Summary:
"Emerging from the thought-provoking discussions and correspondence Simone Weil had with the Reverend Father Perrin, this classic collection of essays contains the renowned philosopher and social activist's most profound meditations on the relationship of human life to the realm of the transcendent. An enduring masterwork and "one of the most neglected resources of our century" (Adrienne Rich), Waiting for God will continue to influence spiritual and political thought for centuries to come."

Thoughts:
I was craving some difficult to read nonfiction and this was that. Simone Weil has some really interesting ideas, though I'm not sure I grasp them all. I think her thesis is basically the title. That longing for god is god or the closest we can hope to get to god. That we should be happy empting ourselves out and focusing all our attention on the desire for god, making ourselves an empty vessel for him, and being satisfied with that emptiness if god never comes.

Her obediance and devotion to god was certaintly moving. It has to feel great to be that devoted to anything.

A lot of what she talks about is stuff that doesn't make sense logically, but to me makes sense experiencially. She talks about affliction as the point of a nail being hammered into you, and that that pain brings you closer to god. Logically that doesn't make much sense, but experiencially I think that is true.

She also just says interesting stuff. I think she says god doesn't interfere with the world because god diminshed a part of himself to create the world, and that we are so diminished that his perfect-ness can't interact with us.

I don't agree but like what a concept. Overall very interesting, would reccomend if you want some ideas about religion I haven't seen elsewhere.

Summary:
"Cat's Eye is the story of Elaine Risley, a controversial painter who returns to Toronto, the city of her youth, for a retrospective of her art. Engulfed by vivid images of the past, she reminisces about a trio of girls who initiated her into the fierce politics of childhood and its secret world of friendship, longing, and betrayal. Elaine must come to terms with her own identity as a daughter, a lover, and artist, and woman—but above all she must seek release from her haunting memories. Disturbing, hilarious, and compassionate, Cat's Eye is a breathtaking novel of a woman grappling with the tangled knots of her life."

Thoughts:
VERY GOOD! I think bullying usually isn't portrayed well in stories because they make it too violent and not emotional enough. This story gets what bullying is. If you're a girl whose been terrorized by girls, especially those who were your friends, you'll get this book.

I like the start of this book more than the later half, but the end is still good. The portrayal of forties culture and how that has affected the main characters art is great too. I just like to hear about different time periods.

I really liked this part,“This is what I miss, Cordelia: not something that’s gone, but something that will never happen. Two old women giggling over their tea.” Like isn't that agonizing.

Summary:
"A book that asks: Is there life after the internet?

As this urgent, genre-defying book opens, a woman who has recently been elevated to prominence for her social media posts travels around the world to meet her adoring fans. She is overwhelmed by navigating the new language and etiquette of what she terms "the portal," where she grapples with an unshakable conviction that a vast chorus of voices is now dictating her thoughts. When existential threats—from climate change and economic precariousness to the rise of an unnamed dictator and an epidemic of loneliness—begin to loom, she posts her way deeper into the portal's void. An avalanche of images, details, and references accumulate to form a landscape that is post-sense, post-irony, post-everything. "Are we in hell?" the people of the portal ask themselves. "Are we all just going to keep doing this until we die?"

Suddenly, two texts from her mother pierce the fray: "Something has gone wrong," and "How soon can you get here?" As real life and its stakes collide with the increasingly absurd antics of the portal, the woman confronts a world that seems to contain both an abundance of proof that there is goodness, empathy, and justice in the universe, and a deluge of evidence to the contrary.

Fragmentary and omniscient, incisive and sincere, No One Is Talking About This is at once a love letter to the endless scroll and a profound, modern meditation on love, language, and human connection from a singular voice in American literature."

Thoughts:
Really good. Extremely easy to read, extremely online. If you've gotten that "everyone is watching me" feeling from using the internet, then I think you'll get this book.

The second part is much better than the first, so don't give up too quickly. The love these characters have for the baby is beautiful.

I really liked how they said "She only knows being herself" or something similar. Got me thinking about different ways life is experienced and stuff, which is more than I thought I'd get out of a book about an influencer lol.

Summary:
In a remote Polish village, Janina devotes the dark winter days to studying astrology, translating the poetry of William Blake, and taking care of the summer homes of wealthy Warsaw residents. Her reputation as a crank and a recluse is amplified by her not-so-secret preference for the company of animals over humans. Then a neighbor, Big Foot, turns up dead. Soon other bodies are discovered, in increasingly strange circumstances. As suspicions mount, Janina inserts herself into the investigation, certain that she knows whodunit. If only anyone would pay her mind . . .

A deeply satisfying thriller cum fairy tale, Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead is a provocative exploration of the murky borderland between sanity and madness, justice and tradition, autonomy and fate. Whom do we deem sane? it asks. Who is worthy of a voice?

Thoughts:
I liked this one. The reason it's only getting 3 stars is because I was expecting a murder mystery, and then that wasn't really what the story was about. If you want a character study/introspection on an interesting old woman than this is that book! and I liked it for that.

The main character was deeply endearing to me. Her voice really nailed the eccentric old lady thing. The relationships between the towns folk and her were my favorite parts of the book. The part in the middle when the entomologist is visiting is my favorite. Very solid book overall, just needs a less deceptive description I guess.

Summary:
What if you could enter the mind of the person you love the most?

Enka meets Mathilde in art school and is instantly drawn to her. Mathilde makes art that feels truly original, and Enka—trying hard to prove herself in this fiercely competitive world—pours everything into their friendship. But when Mathilde’s fame and success cause her to begin drifting away, Enka becomes desperate to keep her close.

Enter SCAFFOLD. Purported to enhance empathy, this cutting-edge technology could allow Enka to inhabit Mathilde’s mind and access her memories, artistic inspirations, and deep-seated trauma. Undergoing this procedure would link Enka and Mathilde forever. But at what cost?

Blisteringly smart, thought-provoking, and shocking, Immaculate Conception offers us a portrait of close friendship—achingly tender and twisted—that captures the tenuous line between love and possession that will haunt you long after you turn the final page.

Thoughts:
This book is just every sci-fi concept ever + toxic girl friendship + weird fine art drama. And I was sat.

It's incredibly entertaining, but maybe not the most well written. There's so much exposition, not even folded in nicely, and then the world building that was just established gets forgotten in a chapter. This book has AI commentary, genetic engineering, cloning, mind-reading stuff, YA dystopia style divided cities, women having babies without men, and so much other concepts that could all be their own book. I feel that most of these topics weren't explored to their fullest.

That's the same issue I have with the toxic girl friendship. It's what the book is about, but I feel like they could've explored it more or had the two women interact more.

Despite all this I was so entertained by this book. It's easy to read and I was constantly wondering what would happen next cause something unheard of was happening every page. I would recomend it just for that.

Summary:
Geek Love is the story of the Binewskis, a carny family whose mater- and paterfamilias set out ― with the help of amphetamine, arsenic, and radioisotopes ― to breed their own exhibit of human oddities.

There's Arturo the Aquaboy, who has flippers for limbs and a megalomaniac ambition worthy of Genghis Khan . . . Iphy and Elly, the lissome Siamese twins . . . albino hunchback Oly, and the outwardly normal Chick, whose mysterious gifts make him the family's most precious ― and dangerous ― asset.

As the Binewskis take their act across the backwaters of the U.S., inspiring fanatical devotion and murderous revulsion; as its members conduct their own Machiavellian version of sibling rivalry, Geek Love throws its sulfurous light on our notions of the freakish and the normal, the beautiful and the ugly, the holy and the obscene. Family values will never be the same.

Thoughts:
Best book ever ACTUALLY. I read this book for such long chunks of time I gave myself headache level eyestrain, and then kept reading.

The summary is just the tip of the iceberg of stuff that actually happens in this book. I won't say anything else because I think you need to be shocked, but it's like 5 stories in one. And all of those stories are told to their fullest. It's so immersive I felt like the world of the Binewski's was real, and my actual life was just something distracting me from them.

The dark places this book goes to are disturbing but also creative!!! and the shock of them feels earned by the messed up world the author's created. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK. I can't recommend it enough.

Summary:
"In Ashkenazi Jewish folklore, a golem is a humanoid being created out of mud or clay and animated through secret prayers. Its sole purpose is to defend the Jewish people against the immediate threat of violence. It is always a rabbi who makes a golem, and always in a time of crisis.

But Len Bronstein is no rabbi—he’s a Brooklyn art teacher who steals a large quantity of clay from his school, gets extremely stoned, and manages to bring his creation to life despite knowing little about Judaism and even less about golems. Unable to communicate with his nine-foot-six, four hundred–pound, Yiddish-speaking guest, Len enlists a bodega clerk and ex-Hasid named Miri Apfelbaum to translate.

Eventually, the golem learns English by binge-watching Curb Your Enthusiasm after ingesting a massive amount of LSD and reveals that he is a creature with an ancestral memory; he recalls every previous iteration of himself, proving to be a repository of Jewish history and trauma. He demands to know what crisis has prompted his re-creation and whom he must destroy. When Miri shows him a video of white nationalists marching and chanting “Jews will not replace us,” the answer becomes clear.

Thoughts:
Just incredibly good. It's been over a year and I still think about this book. So much good stuff to say about cultural identity and generational trauma and how communities adapt to violence. Also one of fav topics ever, debates about what type of justice is good. It has all these conversatiosn while being short, easy to read, and soooooo funny. I think about some of the jokes in this book as much as I think about the serious stuff!!!

It's setting is super modern too. It has the characters fighting the current brand of bigotry thats ruining the world, and it's cathartic (?) to see evil so familiar to my time dealt with. PLEASE READ THIS BOOK.

Spoiler here but just like read this bit. I loveeee it. "“And if we kill everybody who hates us,” he continued, “we’ll be safe.”

“Yes. For once.”

Len raised his finger in the air like a rabbi. “But we’ll no longer be Jews. We’ll be something else.”

Miri shook her head. “Bullshit. We’ve always defended ourselves. Ask The Golem. Oh, wait—you can’t.”

“Defending ourselves is different than killing every Jew-hater.”

“You sound like a fucking idiot.”

Len spread his arms to take in everything: the road, the night, the moon. The water, somewhere, that neither one of them could see.

“We’re supposed to repair the world, Miri. Tikkun olam.”

Miri cocked her head and blinked at him.

“Dickhead,” she said lovingly, “has it ever occurred to you that maybe this is how we repair the world?”

They stared at each other in silence, out of words and a long way from home."

Summary:
"One day, the mother was a mother but then, one night, she was quite suddenly something else...

At home full-time with her two-year-old son, an artist finds she is struggling. She is lonely and exhausted. She had imagined - what was it she had imagined? Her husband, always travelling for his work, calls her from faraway hotel rooms. One more toddler bedtime, and she fears she might lose her mind.

Instead, quite suddenly, she starts gaining things, surprising things that happen one night when her child will not sleep. Sharper canines. Strange new patches of hair. New appetites, new instincts. And from deep within herself, a new voice..."

Thoughts:
Loveeeeee Nightbitch. It is written so interestingly, kinda like a fairytale. This is what started my obsession with books about motherhood lol. Also made me so sure I never want kids cause lord. Being a stay at home mom looks so torturous in this book. I would die.

I like that the main character doesn't think of herself as the typical mother and seems uncomfortable with it taking over her identity. Like, before the body horror of becoming a dog her autonomy was already stripped by motherhood. The other moms are also fleshed out and real despite the MC kinda looking down on them.

I was confused about some stuff. The whole MLM medication plotline was all over the place and then kinda dissapearead? And the ending of the book seems unrealistic. I know thats dumb to say when this story is about a lady becoming a dog but still. The begining felt grounded in the real experience of being a mother, and the end felt like wish fufillment. I think that was the point, it just felt out of place to me. Good for the mother though glad she gets to be a freak.

Summary:
"For years Carmen Maria Machado has struggled to articulate her experiences in an abusive same-sex relationship. In this extraordinarily candid and radically inventive memoir, Machado tackles a dark and difficult subject with wit, inventiveness and an inquiring spirit, as she uses a series of narrative tropes—including classic horror themes—to create an entirely unique piece of work which is destined to become an instant classic."

Thoughts:
I didn't expect this one to be something I'd love so much but wow I love it. It's written in a way that's so compulsive to read, which helps with the subject matter. The fable/trope theme gives a horrible sense of forboding, or like looking back and realizing how bad things were. Gave me catharsis I didn't know I needed.

Summary:
"The Bluest Eye is Toni Morrison's first novel, a book heralded for its richness of language and boldness of vision. Set in the author's girlhood hometown of Lorain, Ohio, it tells the story of black, eleven-year-old Pecola Breedlove. Pecola prays for her eyes to turn blue so that she will be as beautiful and beloved as all the blond, blue-eyed children in America. In the autumn of 1941, the year the marigolds in the Breedloves' garden do not bloom. Pecola's life does change—in painful, devastating ways.

With its vivid evocation of the fear and loneliness at the heart of a child's yearning, and the tragedy of its fulfillment. The Bluest Eye remains one of Toni Morrison's most powerful, unforgettable novels- and a significant work of American fiction."

Thoughts:
Nothing I can say that hasn't been said elsewhere better but just such a good book. Good feels wrong because this is one of the most heartbreaking books I've ever read but you know what I mean. The whole time you're thinking, "Someone is going to help these girls. Surely some adult is going to do something and help them." And you just feel more and more desperate and more and more hopeless the longer you read. And then it's over.

Summary:
"An exploration of why people all over the world love to engage in pain on purpose--from dominatrices, religious ascetics, and ultramarathoners to ballerinas, icy ocean bathers, and sideshow performers

Masochism is sexy, human, reviled, worshipped, and can be delightfully bizarre. Deliberate and consensual pain has been with us for millennia, encompassing everyone from Black Plague flagellants to ballerinas dancing on broken bones to competitive eaters choking down hot peppers while they cry. Masochism is a part of us. It lives inside workaholics, tattoo enthusiasts, and all manner of garden variety pain-seekers.

At its core, masochism is about feeling bad, then better—a phenomenon that is long overdue for a heartfelt and hilarious investigation. And Leigh Cowart would they are not just a researcher and science writer—they’re an inveterate, high-sensation seeking masochist. And they have a few Why do people engage in masochism? What are the benefits and the costs? And what does masochism have to say about the human experience?"

By participating in many of these activities themselves, and through conversations with psychologists, fellow scientists, and people who seek pain for pleasure, Cowart unveils how our minds and bodies find meaning and relief in pain—a quirk in our programming that drives discipline and innovation even as it threatens to swallow us whole.

Thoughts:
Fun and digestible pop-science book about masochism. I'm very fascinated by masochism and people who do horrible stuff to themselves for fun. There's not very many accessible books about the topic (other than like BDSM erotica) so I was really happy to find this book.

The begining is more science heavy than the end but I liked all of it. There's a chapter about ultra-marathon runners that I think about all the time. I can't imagine being so devoted to something that you'd run to the point of hallucinating but I do respect it. There's a bit of annoying millenial #relatable jokes in this but other than that great read.

Summary:
Set in the contemporary Paris of American expatraites, liasons, and violence, a young man finds himself caught between desire and conventional morality. James Baldwin's brilliant narrative delves into the mystery of loving with a sharp, probing imagination, and he creates a moving, highly controversial story of death and passion that reveals the unspoken complexities of the heart.

Thoughts:
I mean it's James Baldwin of course it's life changing. I don't care for books mainly about romance but this one got me. I think about it all the time. The characters are kinda like the ones in myths with how they're archetypes you can apply everywhere. But they're also so real and 3D. Basically please read Giovanni's room it's what a classic should be. ALSO, read this quote that haunts me:

“Love him,’ said Jacques, with vehemence, ‘love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters? And how long, at the best, can it last, since you are both men and still have everywhere to go? Only five minutes, I assure you, only five minutes, and most of that, helas! in the dark. And if you think of them as dirty, then they will be dirty— they will be dirty because you will be giving nothing, you will be despising your flesh and his. But you can make your time together anything but dirty, you can give each other something which will make both of you better—forever—if you will not be ashamed, if you will only not play it safe.’ He paused, watching me, and then looked down to his cognac. ‘You play it safe long enough,’ he said, in a different tone, ‘and you’ll end up trapped in your own dirty body, forever and forever and forever—like me.”

Summary:
"Paul Sheldon. He's a bestselling novelist who has finally met his biggest fan. Her name is Annie Wilkes and she is more than a rabid reader - she is Paul's nurse, tending his shattered body after an automobile accident. But she is also his captor, keeping him prisoner in her isolated house."

Thoughts:
Felt like I was also addicted to drugs reading this. I read this during a horrible bout of insomnia and I didn't even care that I couldn't sleep cause it gave me more time to read this book. Incredibly compulsive. There are a good amount of issues with this book but I can almost promise it'll be an enjoyable read.

Not much more to say. It's scary, it's thrilling, it's gross. The movies also so good so you can experience it again lol. I wish there was a sequel just about Paul dealing with everything that happened cause good lord.

Summary:
"Matsutake is the most valuable mushroom in the world—and a weed that grows in human-disturbed forests across the northern hemisphere. Through its ability to nurture trees, matsutake helps forests to grow in daunting places. It is also an edible delicacy in Japan, where it sometimes commands astronomical prices. In all its contradictions, matsutake offers insights into areas far beyond just mushrooms and addresses a crucial question: what manages to live in the ruins we have made?

A tale of diversity within our damaged landscapes, The Mushroom at the End of the World follows one of the strangest commodity chains of our times to explore the unexpected corners of capitalism. Here, we witness the varied and peculiar worlds of matsutake commerce: the worlds of Japanese gourmets, capitalist traders, Hmong jungle fighters, industrial forests, Yi Chinese goat herders, Finnish nature guides, and more. These companions also lead us into fungal ecologies and forest histories to better understand the promise of cohabitation in a time of massive human destruction.

By investigating one of the world's most sought-after fungi, The Mushroom at the End of the World presents an original examination into the relation between capitalist destruction and collaborative survival within multispecies landscapes, the prerequisite for continuing life on earth."

Thoughts:
My little brother got this book for me after telling a british book store owner in Seattle that I, "Like communism and stuff." Apparently the british guy didn't even pause he just immediatly recommended this book. And he was right.

I read this when I was first strating to read after not reading anything for years. It was very hard to get through, but so so worth it. It's written kinda academically, but also kinda with fancy prose. It's like having to unravel a bunch of necklaces, which adds to the book, it's just not an easy read. Every chapter is so interesting and informative I felt like I had a new perspective on whatever it was about after I was done. The main theme is the interconnectedness of life. Through nature or history or destruction it's all us it's all we. Made me feel so hopeful and happy to be part of the world. Genuinely beautiful can't recommend enough.

Summary:
"In Brexit Britain, a young transgender doctor called Ry is falling in love – against their better judgement – with Victor Stein, a celebrated professor leading the public debate around AI.

Meanwhile, Ron Lord, just divorced and living with Mum again, is set to make his fortune launching a new generation of sex dolls for lonely men everywhere.

Across the Atlantic, in Phoenix, Arizona, a cryogenics facility houses dozens of bodies of men and women who are medically and legally dead… but waiting to return to life.

But the scene is set in 1816, when nineteen-year-old Mary Shelley writes a story about creating a non-biological life-form. ‘Beware, for I am fearless and therefore powerful.'

What will happen when homo sapiens is no longer the smartest being on the planet? Jeanette Winterson shows us how much closer we are to that future than we realise. Funny and furious, bold and clear-sighted, Frankissstein is a love story about life itself."

Thoughts:
Reviewing this just to hate. Topics that this book includes are the writing of Frankenstein, the life of Mary Shelley, miscarriage, sex robots, how much being a woman is hard, how much being trans is hard, capitalism's evils, cryogenics, religion, anti-semitism, AI, uploading your brain to a computer, and reincarnation. All that and it was somehow still so so so boring.

Link: Here

Summary:
Since its publication, this Lambda Literary Award-nominated book has become a classic must-read on the shelf of books addressing human sexuality and identity. Widely cited as among the most useful books of its kind, Leatherfolk is both historical witness and provocative treatise regarding a distinct subculture that has withstood decades of political harassment and other challenges to its survival.

Spanning the decades from the 1940s onward, this collection of vibrant writing documents the many eras and shifts of attitude that have affected the gay and lesbian leather underground, and its influence on the society beyond.

Thoughts:
Incredibly interesting queer history. This is like the third book I read after not reading for years lol. I think it's a good read for anyone interested in LGBT/kink history. I love love love to read about old subcultures, and this book scratches that itch so well.

It does have some pretty obvious issues though. For one thing, for what is supposed to be an overview of the whole subculture, there are very few chapters by women, trans people, or anyone not white. Such interesting talks of gender and power dynamics and oppression, but only letting the gay white dudes talk? Come on guys. And the final section oml. Just skip it. It's the spirituality section, and while interesting, is almost exclusively like white hippie cultural appropriation stuff.

I would still say this book is a good read, just also a product of it's time.

Link: Here

Summary:
"Natsuki isn't like the other girls. She has a wand and a transformation mirror. She might be a witch, or an alien from another planet. Together with her cousin Yuu, Natsuki spends her summers in the wild mountains of Nagano, dreaming of other worlds. When a terrible sequence of events threatens to part the two children forever, they make a promise: survive, no matter what.

Now Natsuki is grown. She lives a quiet life with her asexual husband, surviving as best she can by pretending to be normal. But the demands of Natsuki's family are increasing, her friends wonder why she's still not pregnant, and dark shadows from Natsuki's childhood are pursuing her. Fleeing the suburbs for the mountains of her childhood, Natsuki prepares herself with a reunion with Yuu. Will he still remember their promise? And will he help her keep it?"

Thoughts:
Read this before I realized that Sayaka Murata's works are always full of the most taboo and shocking stuff imaginable and that Convenience Store Woman is the expection lol. I say this as a big Sayaka Murata fan.

This book is all over recomendation lists, which it deserves because it's great, but it def needs a hefty warning. It has every upsetting topic ever. CSA, incest, murder, cannibalism, EVERYTHING. And it's shown graphically. That said it is great. It captures the experience of being young and abused and desperately trying to make sense of the situation so well. Natsuki as an adult is also just an interesting portrait of a victim. I love her and her freak husband. I don't want to say anything else cause the book should remain a little shocking. Just be informed before you read.

Link: Here

Summary:
Keiko has never fit in, neither in her family, nor in school, but when at the age of eighteen she begins working at the Hiiromachi branch of “Smile Mart,” she finds peace and purpose in her life. In the store, unlike anywhere else, she understands the rules of social interaction―many are laid out line by line in the store’s manual―and she does her best to copy the dress, mannerisms, and speech of her colleagues, playing the part of a “normal” person excellently, more or less. Keiko is very happy, but the people close to her, from her family to her coworkers, increasingly pressure her to find a husband, and to start a proper career, prompting her to take desperate action…

A brilliant depiction of a world hidden from view, Convenience Store Woman is an ironic and sharp-eyed look at contemporary work culture and the pressures we all feel to conform, as well as a charming and completely fresh portrait of an unforgettable heroine.

Thoughts:
Book that felt like it knew me. This is like the autistic woman manifesto. Sayaka Murata is one of my favorite authors ever because she gets it. Really good exploration of trying to balance pleasing others/trying to live a life you enjoy, and then realizing you're failing at both! It's around 100 pages too, so if you want to ruin an afternoon plz read.